Weird.

Namimiss ko na yung panahon na masaya ako dahil nagtetext ka. Na nararamdaman kong mahal mo ako. Na totoo yung sinasabi mo. Na mas pinipili mong makasama ako higit kanino man. Na masaya ka sa piling ko. Na hindi natin pinoproblema ang isa't isa.

Masaya ako pag nagtetext ka pero parang may kulang. Hindi ko alam kung ano. Parang walang sincerity e. Parang walang buhay. Minsan magkaiba ung pinapakita mo sa sinasabi mo. Ewan ko.

Wala na akong iniisip pang iba. Gusto kong ibalik ung dating tayo. Pinipilit kong kalimutan ang lahat para pareho tayong maging masaya.

Halika? Mag.umpisa tayo ulit? :)

posted from Bloggeroid

INSIGHTS

I prayed that God would grant me my heart's desire. I prayed a lot but I guess, only once or thrice I had been specific with my prayers. I strongly believe that God knows what I want in life and He could provide me with those if only He wanted. By virtue of patience, I learned to wait.Waiting for good things to come. It's been proven and tested, not just once but many times that good things come to those who wait. We can't push something over  because we wanted to. It's more on the timing. Timing itself is everything. Everything happened for a reason we have to face later in life. We would not know how beautiful God's plans are until we would not believe that His plans are better than anyone else.

We tend to believe in what we don't see. We believe in divine interventions, love and hope. Sometimes the most beautiful things are not seen by the eyes but felt by the most wounded heart. Our scars won't heal but we still manage to smile and see ourselves beautiful. That's true faith in life's  goodness. Life is good in a  way no one can predict. It's God's way of saying "Leave it all to Me". God is just beside us, guiding us and blessing us with life unimaginable's miracles.

Miracles are everywhere. Love is a miracle out of selflessness. We might be hurt by someone but that doesn't mean we'll condemn love. Its very existence makes us happy and makes unbearable things bearable. If there are times we doubted love, try to imagine the glee it brought to our hearts and how love made us believe in shooting stars, destiny and being beautiful.

Being beautiful is a subjective thing. Being beautiful for others won't give meaning to the word BEAUTIFUL but being beautiful for oneself is the closest thing we will have to live a free - insecurities life.Yes, beauty may fade but the feeling we had when we were beautiful won't. We may have different perception of being beautiful but the most perfect of them is the inner beauty. 

Inner beauty is a beauty more than any eyes can ever see. There's no one who's too old for inner beauty. Inner beauty radiates to people. We need to believe that everyone is capable of being beautiful inside which made us beautiful in the outside as well. Everyone has their good heart, if not shown then maybe it's hidden. Everyone is an angel in disguise - we must believe in that for us to build trust and confidence in other people.

Trust is a fragile thing. Trust is never given away by chance. It has to be carefully taken care of. It enriches a relationship through time. Trust should never be broken because once it does, we will never put it up again or if just in case we will, nothing will make it any better - not even a thousand presented truth.

Trust sets us free and being free doesn't just merely mean being able to do what is in your mind but also knowing our limitations and responsibilities that correspond our actions.Our actions tell us who we are. At times, we do things that are not govern by our minds. We hurt people unconsciously, we forget special days and thought that undoing will make it up for everything. Do good things, say good things, remain silent at the right time. No good deed goes unnoticed. 

One of the best feelings in the world is to be in that situation where we know that God has good plans and is very excellent for knowing the perfect time to divulge it.

A WHOLE NEW WORLD WITH HIM :))

If I could just express how happy I am right now, I could write millions of words that everyone would be happy with but just for now the smile on my face would just be enough to give people an idea of how happy I am now that I have him. :)

I've been waiting for this for four years. That waiting made me happy, sad, cry, depressed and for once gave up. I don't know why this happened, really. There came to a point that I promise myself he will not have me back but here I am, soo happy with him I can't help to smile for no reason. I can't help to tell myself that he was one of the best birthday gifts ever. :) 

I may not tell him exactly what I wrote here or what I am tweeting in twitter but one thing's for sure I love him with all of me. This is one of the sweetest feeling and I want to savor the moment while it's here. This feeling i have is soo intense my heart could not bear it. Like Ivaine in the stardust telling Tristan that in exchange for her heart is Tristan's heart. 

"My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

 " - Stardust (2007)

Just like Ivaine, I did not wish anything in return but his heart - just his heart. I know long time ago he did wish of my heart too and I think I gave it to him just before he decided to gave me up. Oooops! Nothing but good vibes here. :) I am happy, He's happy and I hope everybody's happy <3

My sydkik. I love you, like really. I don't want you/my happiness to slip away again so I decided to fully commit myself on this relationship and let it last so that I can hold your hand when we're old and thank God for being so generous to give me what I really want from the very start. <3

I may have my very own shortcomings or you'll get tired of me asking lots of favors to you but I know we can do this. :) We both deserve the best so we'll make the best of it. I love you and Miss na jud kaayo kaayo kaayo tika! Mwah! 

P.S.

Please drop by in my dreams tonight. Goodnight.

CAN'T WAIT.

          I really don't want to wait for you to fall for me. :'( Like Really. Don't have the courage to face the pain and hurt. I know those things will break me apart. I am young and I know the time is moving - moving so fast I cannot chase it. 

          I want you to know that I cannot handle the felling I have inside but been taught myself to understand that your feelings for her cannot be set aside. I don't want to wait for that day that you would tell me to be happy for you and her. that's ouch! you know?! As much as possible I don't want my feelings to be obsolete but it made me feel like I am deprived - that my feelings were being stepped on. It hurts more than that of being happy for you.  

          Feelings changed, I guess. Time will make me through this obscurity - no, I am just certain that this is not just a darkness that needs to be lighted but a chasm to be filled in. I never really wanted to create an issue over this matter. I am thinking of forgetting this stupid sentiment about you. How I wish I never got to know you :( (that's the saddest wish I had so far this year).

          Just a while ago I decided to forget the feelings, to indulge myself to something MORE better and enjoyable to get even with the pain you've given me but as I am trying to do so I am hurting myself even more. I should consider the fact that there will be no US that what lies ahead is just ME alone or Me and the one who got away or Me and the Mr. Guy Someplace else. 

            Certainly, I know you are one of those friends who's been compelled to visit my blog once in a while but you'll never know it's you. 

Drama much here. Just needed a shock absorber and this blog could be the best choice.  :-/

and one more thing I miss you. 

FAVORITE PEOPLE :-*

Aside from my Lola these two are my favorite people in the whole universe! <3

          These two are my friends. Kate S. Malnegro on the left and Russel Jane Lestojas on the right. If you would ask me what's my criteria on choosing them as my favorites the answer would be I just see goodness, practicality in them.

        I am not really close with Kate, I mean I don't know her personal preferences but I can see the goodness from within. She's very idealistic and loves to work with fine details. She's soo practical that sometimes other people misunderstand her. She has circle of friends that is very different from her, but I guess somehow they can't be that close without anything in common. 

       On the other hand Russell Jane Lestojas is very close to my heart. She's one my friends and I'm soo proud to say that I belong to her circle of friends. Doll (as what we call her), is very charming, intelligent and kind person. She's one of those people whom I can turn to in times of difficulty. 

           My Lola is one of the most generous person I've ever known. I don't have uploaded pictures together with her but she will be forever in my heart. She will always be my inspiration. I miss you Lola. 

            My mother as you can observed is not one of my favorites but that doesn't mean I love her less. It's just that the word "favorite" could not describe how much I love her. :))