I really don't want to wait for you to fall for me. :'( Like Really. Don't have the courage to face the pain and hurt. I know those things will break me apart. I am young and I know the time is moving - moving so fast I cannot chase it.
I want you to know that I cannot handle the felling I have inside but been taught myself to understand that your feelings for her cannot be set aside. I don't want to wait for that day that you would tell me to be happy for you and her. that's ouch! you know?! As much as possible I don't want my feelings to be obsolete but it made me feel like I am deprived - that my feelings were being stepped on. It hurts more than that of being happy for you.
Feelings changed, I guess. Time will make me through this obscurity - no, I am just certain that this is not just a darkness that needs to be lighted but a chasm to be filled in. I never really wanted to create an issue over this matter. I am thinking of forgetting this stupid sentiment about you. How I wish I never got to know you :( (that's the saddest wish I had so far this year).
Just a while ago I decided to forget the feelings, to indulge myself to something MORE better and enjoyable to get even with the pain you've given me but as I am trying to do so I am hurting myself even more. I should consider the fact that there will be no US that what lies ahead is just ME alone or Me and the one who got away or Me and the Mr. Guy Someplace else.
Certainly, I know you are one of those friends who's been compelled to visit my blog once in a while but you'll never know it's you.
Drama much here. Just needed a shock absorber and this blog could be the best choice. :-/
and one more thing I miss you.
