Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Being me is no fun. :)

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD. 

NO. VERY LONG POST AHEAD.

It's always been my pride to be a barrio kid. I grew up in a small community somewhere in Gen. SK Pendatun. We call it Badak (I know, nobody knows it :D). Life was pretty simple way back then. We owned a small sari - sari store and between veggies and processed food, veggies were much favored. I've been in that community for 5 years. Had my first pre-school education there. Got and lost my first plastic doll there. I can still remember how cheap-looking my first doll was. It was color beige, has red-orange hair color in baby china haircut. It was a bride doll holding a boquet of red roses with matching red boots. HAHAHA!

Momsy had to finish college and popsy was just plain supportive so we changed location. We lived in Granny's side. Lola still supported umi's (that's how I called mom) education even if she has already 2 kids. My mom graduated in college when I was in grade 1 and my 'lil bro was just in pre-school. That graduation brought changes. My mom had to work and so was my pop. So, they were compelled to get a kasambahay (we aren't allowed to address them katulong or yaya. We grew up believing those were such bad words).Of course, I'm not used to someone else taking care of me other than my family, so I believed my own self didn't want change. Now, I call that resistance. :) I was maldita enough for our kasambahay to be changed every year. For almost 20 years, we got 8 kasambahays already. HAHAHA! My personal favorites were ate Rachma and Ate Baby. Ate Racha has always something good to tell and Ate Baby is pretty and so was her handwriting :D. Ate Baby's always making sure I look good when I'm off to school. 

I spent my elementary years at a public school. Flag ceremony and exercise were my hatest activities every weekdays. Recess was hell. I can't get what I wanted to eat without getting my shoes dirty. My school was big enough to cater almost 6 thousand students, 2 small lakes, 1 wide oval with mango tree all over the sides. I was not a straight A student nor ever been to first section but one thing I can be proud of was that I WAS an orator. Yea. Like I joined competitions.And because my mom has work and so was pop, they never got the chance to see me on stage. :( That was sad. I only got my adviser who gave me support. Drama much, I know. They also attended PTA meetings very seldom, most of the time it's just me who jot down notes and told them how the meeting went. That showed me being responsible ever since :D. 

My favorite attire then was bestida. I don't own pants those days. HAHAHA! Girly me. My bestfriend in elementary was my mortal enemy. Her kuya was her worst hero (hahaha!I'm telling you besty, I was never shaken). I was a pretty bully though my parents are too strict when it comes to manner and being upright. So, to end my elementary days, I graduated with an award. LOL. OMG. haha! This would be a laughtrip. The award was PERFECT ATTENDANCE (How great! No absences for 6 years).

My parents' expectations of me were/are still high. I had to pass the entrance examination of the most prestigious secondary school in cotabato. That was how they apprised my existence as their daughter during those times. I did understand that. My mom and pop do not settle for mediocrity, they want what's best, which apparently I didn't inherit. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed 'till I can pray no more because I passed the exam. Well, yea. I passed and I'm more than proud than my parents were because out of  us three in the classroom who got the chance to took the exam, ehem.. I'm the ONLY one who passed. Sorry but I have to brag this just not to spoil the perfect attendance. LOL. 

My HS life made me believe that HS is one of the best major years in one's life. Everybody got the chance to be a teenager but not everyone got the privilege to act like one. I have strict parents, firm house rules. I was a selfish teen.I created my own innocent world (definitely not a rebel). I never let any member of my family to get in. I'm such a narrow minded kid with high ambitions. Ambitions that I would never realize without my parents. Nevertheless, my HS life was vibrantly lived. My only regret was not seeing HS as a training ground. I'm thinking of training ground for my not - so - talented self. Though I did cheer dancing (just the thought of it makes me want to forget myself), be an organization's officer, event organizer (those were not grande) and even being a bench girl.. Err AND EVEN aren't the perfect words, BUT BEING a bench girl was my top role during HS. You know benchgirl? That special someone who gives WATER AND ENCOURAGEMENT to the players during Intramurals or tournament. Lol. Unfortunate me. Those minor roles I had like cheerdancing, being an officer, a frustrated writer, all those things were just for the love of grades.

I was not a born singer nor a growing up singer. I'm a trying hard singer, actually. I have a.. let's consider good voice. Uh huh, I have a good voice but I don't really have the talent. Haha. Hope you get me. And to give justice to the words VIBRANTLY LIVED, in HS was where Spies girls started. They are my wonderful circle of friends. If I didn't meet them along the way, I'd never be this contented with friends. 

Some people - special people made me forget my parents aren't lenient. Once, twice, thrice, I went home late (6pm in Cotabato is too late) and met my mother's hurtful words and my lola's first and last slap. LOL. 

And some other special people made me realize that love is all about taking risks because in playing safe it hurts even more.

4 years was over.

And then another 4 years passed quickly.

I thought i'm gonna spend that another 4 years with same people. I was wrong- I spent that another 4 years with strangers. Pop's decision was final. Okey. Fine.I could not disagree more. College was different. I spent my life with people who gave me reasons to be worthy of every single feeling i have for them. 

I thought of lola as my personal hero - my sweet loving hero. I think my family is greatest any family could not be greater than us. The selfish,narrow minded teen is now a grown up kid, still being so ambitious and learning new and wonderful things each day. 

I've met new people - people I never thought of loving but I did. Marilyn Pitogo, my first ever friend here in Davao. I met her during enrollment and we just got connected not knowing we're classmates. Ralph, my special friend who made me feel and that an alien like me deserves a best bud. My classmates RP K and 11, who were wonderful enough to consider me by not bringing any pork recipes/food during our outings. My boardmates, who treated me as a family, who appreciate and see me as a competent person, you are all great.

People in my HS life were nowhere to be found. They were busy making the best out of their lives. I only had one person left and that's Sam. Others were busy making their life's a success while Sam and me choose to became a part of each other's best and worst times.  

Chikadoras gladly meet me halfway. They are the great college girlfriends ever! They are special in their own ordinary way. Kantobols came and chikabols was formed. We are like potpourri, pinaganda ng panahon. We complement each other to make that perfect friendship worth keeping for a lifetime. Then just before graduation, Ampules entered the scene. Ampules are my basketball buddy. LOL. No, I don't play basketball with them. I just cheer for them :D They're one of the best examples of perfectly combined people :))

I'm happy and sad being away from home. Happy to think that I'm now partially independent, became open - minded (you know, when you're with different people, your perception of some things change) and learned that some things aren't on the same corner :) I'm sad.. no, no, no, I WAS sad because I believed that being at home is finding yourself in its most comfortable state :D 




Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Papa Jack, Sailon Ching and TLC.

I stay up late yesternight because I miss True Love confession. :) Papa Jack's advises could hit you right through your heart and hurt you but you would still believe them in the end. And lucky me because I was able to catch Sailon Ching's advice with a motto freebie. In-fairness to Sailon he has a nice, soft voice. I agree to one of the texters last night that Sailon can do the weekend TLC (that would be fuuuuuuuuuunnn!).

So for this another xejjy - like post, yesternight, Papa Jack was screamiiiiiiing! hahahaha that's why Sailon had to save the program (LOL) because the caller - James whoever was a jerk - a total jerk!

The story line:

James: Papa Jack, may GF ako. E yung ex ko gustong makipagkita. Makikipagkita kaya ako?

Papa Jack: E kung pektosan kaya kita jan! Ako ba niloloko mo?

James: Wala lang po. casual lang po na pagkikita papa jack.

Papa Jack: Casual?! Oh my God! E halimbawa yung GF mo may ex din na gustong makipagkita sa kanya, papayagan mo ba?

James: Kung ako po? Hindi po.

Papa Jack: E hindi naman pala. Tapos tatanungin mo 'ko ng ganyan. Are you being jerk or insensitive? Ilagay mo naman yung sarili mo sa kasuotan ng girlfriend mo james, mag-skinny jeans ka! (LOOOOOOOOOL)

*and after that, James whoever was given a chance to say something for her current girlfriend wherein I felt that he doesn't love her GF that much - and so papa jack said:

Papa Jack: There's something wrong James, you don't love your GF that much (Baaaaang! I'm right)

James: Mahal ko naman po siya papa jack kaya lang ayoko lang po ma-attached ng sobra.

Papa Jack: Oh my Gooood! Sailon Ching! tulungan mo nga ako dito. Pinapainit ng lalaking ito ang ulo ko!

Sailon Ching: I can feel na you love her but you're not yet ready to commit yourself.

James: Opo, tama po.

Sailon Ching: Maybe you don't understand the real essence of being in a relationship.

*tsaaaaaaaaaaaaadaaaaaaaan! This is the best part.

Sailon Ching: When you're in a relationship, it's not merely being together or seeing each other every day but it's about committing yourself to that person you choose to love.

Papa Jack: May nagtext Sailon. Sabi dito, "Papa Jack, pwede nang mag weekend TLC si Sailon Ching". hahahahaha

Sailon: Sorry guys, off ko yan.

Papa Jack: Ayusin mo advices mo ha, nakikinig girlfriend mo. hahahaha

Sailon: Tulog na yun. So, James, commit yourself. Kaya ka nga nag-girlfriend e, diba? Hindi ka lang naman nakipagrelasyon just to have somebody to be called your girlfriend. Give her what she deserves. ang swerte mo nga at hindi ka pinaghihinalaan ng girlfriend mo. Hinahayaan ka niyang maging ikaw.

Papa Jack: Kung magpapaalam ka ba sa gf mo, sa tingin mo papayagan ka niya?

James: Opo.

Papa Jack: And do you think okey lang yun sa kanya? James, ang babae kahit sabihin niya sa iyong okey lang, feeling mo ba wala siyang dinaramdam? Babae yan. Natural sa kanila ang paranoia. Paranoid na silang ipinanganak. Kaya kung nagdududa yan, hindi nila yan sinasadya. Nasa pagkatao na talaga nila ang pagiging paranoid. Kakabit na ng pagkababae nila ang mga bumubulong sa kanila ng "SUNDAN MO SIYA" at "I-OPEN MO ANG FACEBOOK NIYA". That's a normal thing to them.

Sailon: You should love your girlfriend more than she loves you. Give her everything. Para no regrets ka later. May motto nga diba, LOVE NOW, NO REGRETS LATER.

Papa Jack: Aba! at may motto ka pa Sailon ha. hahahahaha oo nga naman James. The mere fact na you contemplated about seeing your Ex is an example of cheating. Dapat kung mahal mo ang isang tao, you should see her as part of your life forever not just part of your day. You should think of her as your future at kaya mo nga siya niligawan hindi para i-test kung siya ba talaga kundi para gawin ang lahat para maging siya talaga ang para sa iyo.


*That's why I soo love Papa Jack. He knows what a FEELING really means. Eventhough he's always screaming and mad and angry but at least he's standing for what he believe is right*

Friday, July 15, 2011

MAKE FACE. FUNNY FACE. GOOFY FACE.

I have lots of stolen shots at different angles. Others may find it cute. Some would tell I'm so ugly I can die but whatever it is I still love those candid shots. If ever we're friends in facebook you would notice that most of my default pictures are goofy/stolen/candid shots. I don't know why but I find them REALLY cute. hahaha Cuter than when I'm smiling :)

It was like intended to be seductive/Alluring but the hell with being like that . 

Apparently I was texting with some feelings :)

This is one of the funniest picture I have in my whole life.

I was really blabbing about some problems regarding our data collection at this moment. 

Playing with my new phone :D

Something caught my attention for a while :)

Disappointed.

I'm sleeping while reading sitting upright. Really, I can do that. 

Scariest face I can ever have. :)

"Gigil"

Unexpectedly :p

The goofiest face a person can ever hav. Try it. :)
Thinking :))

I still have lots of them but my TOP SECRET FUNNIEST PICTURE EVER was at a real photo album. hahahaha! Gonna scan it soon :)

Monday, July 11, 2011

Another Sad Story

You were one of the best persons I used to know. You were more important than any friends I had back then. you were the kind of best friend I wanted to grow old with. You were everything I wished and prayed for a friend.

I don't know what happened. I guess, the trust and the value of each other are the very things we've lost. You're one of my favorite friends. Maybe I loved you so much that I could not have any bestest friend in the world.

One of the reasons why I wrote this was I am close to tears trying to suppress the feeling of missing you. I miss you, really. All the things I missed and remember about our friendship have still so much more to it. 

I miss laughing around with you. Cracking corny jokes without even bothering if I sound stupid because I know you would laugh. I miss sharing cool and great and funny stories with you even at times I didn't get any reply because I am sure at the end of the day you appreciate it all. I miss watching movies together with you.You will be the only person I would remember in the perfume POLO BLUE by Ralph Lauren.

Our friendship WAS everything to me. Our goofy moments were soo worth it. Our favorite Mary Rose would be a non-living testimony of a friendship that could be worth remembering. You were the first person to made me realize that playing Bingo is not bad after all. You were my expected caller during my birthdays. You used to be my smile, my sunshine and my answered prayer. You showed me how great the world is by letting me feel how is it to be somebody's favorite. I know you highly favored me. I considered you as part of my daily life. You were part of my future dreams. You haven't given me tangible things for me to keep but you were one of my favorite memories.

But those were all used to be. I have to rearrange my life now. I can never let you hurt me again, this will be the last. I don't need another illogical explanation. Just got done with one. What I just want was for you to be there for me and I'll promise to be there for you a thousand times over but just in a snap you forgot to value the time I'd given you.

I know you. I knew every little pieces of you. I know how these things between us have been influenced by our pride. I just want you to know, I am not mad at you anymore. I just need to restart my life without you. You've been a part of my messy life for like 8 years now. We've been through a lot of dramas , I call those dramas because those were the days our love for each other is more important than our pride. 


It breaks my heart but for now, I'm shutting you out of I'm life then I'll be okey sooner. If that time comes maybe we'll be friends again - normal friends but not partner anymore.